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Somebody on Facebook was complaining. 

I know, I know. But this time they were complaining about me. Or people like me, I guess. The crux of their issue was that people were only supporting the big restaurants in this new takeout-or-delivery-only world we’re currently trapped in. (Frankly, given how bad it could get, I hope we’re not taking this small luxury for granted.)

To him I’d say, “Well...yeah.” The most popular restaurants are the ones people are going to be talking about, because they’re always talking about them. Those restaurants also have the money and the staff to completely change up their business models while smaller, mom-and-pop shops are struggling to adapt. 

I know this is a tough time for everyone, and the little guys most of all, but I think it’s as much about effort (and luck) as it is anything else. 

It took effort for Rocky Mountain Grill to press on and I was lucky enough to see their social media post about their breakfast and lunch specials. I try to follow every locally owned restaurant on social media and, honestly, a lot of them are quiet. 

You don’t have to tell me that it’s humbling to beg people for attention. I write a blog. All I do is shout about what I’m doing and hope someone looks my way. But in these circumstances, I think we ought to be willing to swallow some pride and be honest when we need help. 

Food

Rocky Mountain Grill is a small restaurant in a weird location, on an I-35 service road near 33rd Street in Edmond. What they lack in walkability they make up for with enormous portions of very tasty food—most of it available smothered in green chili sauce.

It was not breakfast, so I did not go in for my usual order of all the biscuits and gravy in the world and also pancakes, but if you’re thinking about getting breakfast to-go, keep RMG in mind.

Instead, I got Taia’s Special ($9.50) which...doesn’t exactly explain much, does it? Sorry, but I didn’t name it. If I had to guess, Taia probably had a hand in it. 

Anyway, it’s a cheeseburger and fries. Except the burger has green chilies in it. And the fries are covered with cheese. And both of them are covered in green chili sauce. It’s a glorious mess and, while I know it’s best served at the restaurant, we’re not doing that right now. If you get this one to-go, I wouldn’t travel too far with it. Or ask ahead if they’ll put the green chili sauce on the side so you can pour it over yourself when the time is right. Basically, sauce and bread and fries get a bit soft on the drive, so the farther you’re driving, the softer it’ll get. 

Flavorwise, it’s a homerun. RMG does a great business in burgers and that translates to plenty of experience making them tasty and tender. The green chili is a bit tart and a bit spicy, but neither of them is overwhelming. If you’re spice averse, maybe choose something else.

But I like spices. And spices like me. Are we “in a relationship”? No. But maybe the timing has just been off. Maybe this quarantine is what it’ll take for me and spice to make it official. 

Huh? Nevermind.

I also got the fajita beef burrito ($9) and let me tell you why: I like spice (see above) and I wanted a burrito so bad that I was considering all manner of heinous crimes to get one. Then I remembered people still sell them, like, everywhere, and that I should just buy one. Isolation is not good for my brain. 

The burrito was good for my stomach, though. It’s not one you should pick up, because it’s big and it’s covered in cheese and green chili sauce. Can you pick it up? Sure. Go for it. But you will need a shower afterwards. 

I already bathed once this week (SOCIAL DISTANCING!) so I just used a knife and fork, like a filthy gentleman. Rice and beans and big ol’ chunks of steak and lettuce and tomatoes and cheese wrapped in a tortilla and covered in more cheese and a ladle of green chili sauce was just what I needed and it’s big enough that I could also need it for dinner that night, no problem. 

I got my mom a club sandwich ($8.50) because she doesn’t like spicy things or...other things. Look, I love my mom, but I have no idea what she likes. It’s why I haven’t bought her a single usable birthday present in the last 41 years.

She did like the sandwich, though, and with good reason—it was great. Nice crispy toast, layers and layers of ham and turkey and bacon and lettuce and juicy tomato, a smear of mayo, and a heaping helping of french fries. If I wasn’t so busy taking down that burrito like an absolute champ, I would have destroyed that sandwich, too.

Do you know why so many restaurants have club sandwiches on the menu? Because they’re delicious. It’s not a classic because it sucks. (Granted, some restaurants suck at making them, but Rocky Mountain Grill is not one of them.)

Should you get breakfast to go from RMG? Yes. Lunch? Also yes. Dinner? If they’ll serve it, then yeah. I’d get a midnight snack there if the owner hadn’t taken out such an iron-clad restraining order against me. 

That’s it. That’s the review. I would have gotten more food, but at some point, I have to stop eating long enough to write. 

“Greg, I just read this and...maybe take some more time writing.”

Good point, negative voice in my head. Maybe next time. I’m going to get a snack now.

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