With the passage of Oklahoma State Question 788, for the first time ever in Oklahoma, people are using marijuana. In conjunction with our sponsors at Bloom Healthcare, I Ate Oklahoma is reviewing edible marijuana products available in the state for a recurring feature we’re calling #WeedEater. If you’re interested in talking to a doctor about medical marijuana, visit Bloom Healthcare to learn more.
Rancho Pura Verde All-Pro Cookie 125 mg
One of the first things that jumps out at consumers when they see the All-Pro Cookie is that 125 mg of THC is a lot. Check out the majority of edible marijuana products and you’ll see gummies at anywhere from 5-25 mg of THC or an entire brownie at 40 mg of THC.
One. Hundred. Twenty. Five. Is. A. Lot. Of. THC.
For anybody. But especially for me.
What makes it confusing is the relatively small size of the cookie, because I could definitely see someone uninitiated in the ways of edibles jumping right in and eating the whole thing. And that would be a mistake. This is the sort of thing where a nibble is enough for most. Eating a third of it, as I did, was...disconcerting.
This tastes like a chocolate chip cookie without any overt medicinal flavors. There’s a green-ness to it, but it fades pretty quickly. The cookie itself is fairly crumbly (it’s made with a Betty Crocker mix) and that can make dividing it into even pieces difficult.
Your best bet is to get out a digital scale (the kind you should all have in your kitchen) and weigh it out. I know, I know: you didn’t come here for a math lesson. But for your sanity, let’s be careful.
Eating just ¼ of the cookie will give you a whopping 31+ mg of THC. And, spoilers, that’s enough to plant your butt on a couch or a bed for the duration of the evening. I will not eat a whole cookie for a few reasons, but I can imagine it might be a rough experience for a newcomer.
Like many edibles, it took a while to fully take hold, about two hours. That said, there are a few giggly, slightly dizzy hiccups that come before that. If you’re trying to get things done around the house after eating this, use those bursts of head rush as a countdown to finding a stable surface and staying there.
Because this is a powerful and potent cookie, you shouldn’t plan to get a lot done after it comes on.
Reading: Almost impossible. This is not a study aid.
Writing: Also quite difficult. Taking notes for this one was lol.
Watching TV: Pretty good, but my eyelids kept getting in the way.
Playing video games: Not a chance. Working the controls of a video game because futile quickly. In fact, it might behoove you to put your phone on the charger and kind of forget about it for a while, because any messages you try to send are likely to be pretty garbled.
Talking: Very dry mouth. Kind of fractured thinking.
Relaxing: Very this.
It is a bit of a goofy high with a nice buzz that seems to fill the whole room. But there’s anxiety awaiting if you’re using this in the company of others. Conversations became difficult in a one-on-one setting, both because of dry mouth and a generally fuzzy brain. This cookie is much more suited to calling it a night with your butt glued to a couch cushion or a bed near a TV set. Turn on something fun and let yourself laugh and get drowsy and fall asleep.
The name All-Pro is funny for a few reasons to me. One, you really should be a pro to use this edible. Either your tolerance needs to be sky high or you need to be extremely judicious about how much you partake of. Two, good luck doing anything as an amateur, much less professionally, after this kicks in. Pro-level sleeping, maybe.
To use this responsibly, you need some forethought. Here’s a checklist:
- Set out your snacks. After eating a quarter of this cookie, wrap the rest up and put it away and lock it up. This is not something you should nibble on after the initial dose. For foodstuffs, get some crunchy fruits and crudite, maybe some crackers and cheese. But it needs to be prepped and ready before the dose hits. You really shouldn’t be messing around in the kitchen (or anywhere with sharp and/or heavy objects) once it takes hold.
- Clear your schedule. This hits like a truck and weighs your brain waaaaaay down. There’s not a lot of nimble thought or creativity coming through. If you’ve got work to do, of any sort, this isn’t the right choice.
- Get comfortable. For pain relief and insomnia, this is a great product. Once you have constructed your nest, with nearby sustenance and a comfortable place to collapse, grab a seat and don’t expect to get up until the next day.
Thanks again to Bloom Healthcare Inc. for sponsoring these #WeedEater posts. If you’re interested in talking to a physician about medical marijuana, visit bloomdoctors.com.