Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. I still don’t see you. This is kind of a one-way medium. Leave a comment if you want to show me you exist, otherwise I will continue writing this to a shadowy void.
So how are things with you, shadowy void? Uh-huh, uh-huh, cool. Me? I’ve been eating monthly features for my monthly Monthly Features feature. Well, great talking with you, shadowy void. You are all my nightmares made real.
One more thing: if you know of a monthly feature I missed, please electronic mail me your suggestion to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wookiee Pie - $4.50 per slice, $24 for a whole pie
FACT: I am mildly allergic to bananas. But if I’m going to risk having slightly itchy ears for anything, it’s going to be pie from Pie Junkie.
FACT: This month’s feature is Wookiee Pie, which is so-named because it is very, very brown. It’s a chocolate-banana cream pie with a Nilla Wafer crust and a chocolate ganache whipped cream on top with tiny chocolate chips.
FACT: The pie’s origins do not require a big-budget prequel, but they are kind of funny. Pie Junkie ran out of pie one day and they were like, “What can we make?” and somebody said, “We’ve got everything for banana cream pies but the vanilla cream.” But they did have chocolate and so they whipped it up and people, predictably, went entirely insane over it.
FACT: This is only available through May, so beam on over to Pie Junkie with your light swords and your (insert incorrect reference to “Babylon 5” here).
S&B’s Burger Joints
The Beer Burger - $10
Pretzel Nugs with Beer Cheese - $7
Hold me close, young Tony Danza, because I’m already fearing the end of May and the sudden Beer Burger-shaped hole it will leave in my heart when S&B’s takes this off the menu.
You start with a brioche bun. Add lettuce and tomato. Then a Coop F5-infused burger patty, covered in onions that were slowly cooked in beer and then doused with creamy beer cheese.
This was one of the best burgers I’ve eaten in a long time. Perfectly cooked. A great variety of complementary textures. Spot-on flavor profiles. This is classic S&B’s work and you definitely need to taste it for yourself.
As always, $1 from your purchase goes to charity. This month’s is Special Care Inc., which serves children, both with and without special needs, and helps them focus on their abilities rather than disabilities.
The perfect complement to the Beer Burger are pretzel nuggets with beer cheese dipping sauce. I don’t actually need to explain that any further, do I? You should just inherently know that’s going to be delicious.
Sorry for the lack of pictures. I’ve got a sick kid at home with me today, so I’ll have to swing by Clarity tomorrow for photographic evidence. In the meantime, here’s what owner Steve Willingham sent me:
“We're refocusing on our Espresso Cream Soda and Cold Brew Lemonade as our specials this month.”
He also told me other stuff, but that’s for later. Oh, okay, there’s a water education event May 11, a coffee mocktail night on May 17 and a palate training on May 19. I highly recommend you check out Clarity in the near future.